Lonely Hours
by Andalusia25
Summary: Chekov has developed a unhealthy habit to fill his nights, Sulu wants to help but is unsure how best to reach him.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own or profit from Star Trek**

**I was visited by the plot dragon this morning, so this is her fault. I blame it on the rebel Anton Yelchin tries to be **

**Thank you to T'Prime and my ****imouto-chan for the encouragement! I have borrowed the angst from GothicCheshire. **

**Lonely Hours**

Hikaru Sulu exited his quarters, turned to the cabin adjacent to his own, ready to collect Pavel Chekov for their routine morning walk to the bridge for Alpha shift, as he had done every day since they were assigned to the Enterprise. He politely nodded to the unusual collection of crewmembers in the hallway. As the crowd parted for the higher ranking officer, they finally granted him the sight of a young Ensign from Engineering, who had resorted to screaming, and seemingly unfazed Russian. Her arms were flailing in the air, her body rigid. Sulu rolled his eyes he knew exactly what this was - yet another morning-after argument pinning a half clad Chekov against the wall. He was really going to have to discuss this self degrading habit with the Navigator. Sulu could understand why no one could turn down the offer to share his bed, but Chekov was ruining himself and his reputation. His once bright eyes were dull, his skin no longer shone, his enthusiasm curbed. It broke the older man's heart to watch the kid self-destruct.

Ensign Adder, Sulu believed was her name, did not notice his arrival or that anyone else even existed in the passage at that moment; her fierce eyes were only focused on her soon-to-be ex-lover. "What do you mean it was just for one night? That is not the sweet little words you were spouting in TenForward!" She was in his face, or as close as her shorter stature would allow. Her uniform was crumbled; it was obviously the one that had been on his floor the entire night. Her hair and eyes were dark, a trait that Chekov seemed to look for in his one-night stands. However for all his intelligence, the teen had not learned the delicate art of slipping away before his bed partners awoke and simply leaving them a message explaining how he was so sorry to take advantage of her 'wounded heart' or some crap. Chekov was too honest for his own good. Sulu sighed, leaning against the door frame watching the drama unfold in the middle of the hall. Had it not been such an open wound for him, he might have enjoyed the show, but as it was, this only served to feed the flames that licked his heavy heart.

Chekov, to his credit, was just standing calmly taking her abuse as he had done for the countless others before her, and would no doubt do again for the countless after her. He was in his pants and boots, his black and gold shirts clutched in his hand with his slightly wet hair spiked up. Sulu couldn't keep up with the number of women Chekov had taken to bed only to dump them in the morning, usually their arguments spilling over into the hall. "It vas just sex, Alicia, nothing more. I do not tink it vould be a good idea if ve saw each other again." He merely shrugged, nodding to Sulu. This was an all too often occurrence for the blonde, he didn't realize how absurd the whole situation was for everyone else, how embarrassing it should have been for him. Even Jim Kirk had the decency to stop this behavior now that he was part of the Command Crew for the Enterprise.

Then, the spit-fire slapped him hard across the face. Sulu tensed at the resounding smack. "You are nothing but a man-whore who can't even speak Standard properly!" She screamed once more before turning and plowing into Sulu full steam ahead. She didn't bother with apologies but kept running, her shoulders shaking with her sobs.

Sighing, Hikaru stepped closer to his best friend. "Dude, get dressed we've got shift in ten minutes." It hurt the older man to know how carelessly Chekov gave away his affection to anyone with a pretty face, but he would be damned if he let it show.

Running his fingers through his still damp messy curls, Chekov nodded. "It does not get easier." Pulling on the shirts without bothering to return to his room, Chekov flexed his jaw. He nodded at the taller man and they left their doorways.

They walked down the hall in silence, each lost to his thoughts. Sulu was glad that these arguments hurt his friend, because that proved he was still a person who had a heart and thought about others, not just himself. As the turbo lift opened, Sulu ushered Chekov in first before slowly following. "Pav, we need to talk." Sulu ordered the lift to the bridge. He had taken Chekov under his wing, dared to care about him, and now he really needed to bring the younger man back to reality, make him see the err of his ways. "You can't keep going around sleeping with half the women on the ship. It's not healthy nor is it right." He took a deep breath, this was the first time they had spoken of Chekov's sleeping arrangements. Chekov was staring away from him, his shoulders slumped in defeat. "Why do you do it, Pav?" He whispered into the empty space between them, his own pain echoing in his soft voice.

Turning to face the pilot, Chekov looked him straight in the eye. "It keeps my mind off ze one I can't hawe. It fills ze lonely hours betveen shifts." He looked haunted and much older than his nineteen years.

But before Sulu could ask any other questions, the door opened and Chekov shot out of the lift. Sulu silently cursed himself for not stopping the lift and taking the time to talk about what was really going on behind those hazel eyes. It was going to be a long shift.

**A/N: Thanks for reading!**

**Is it worth continuing? Please hit the review button and let me know what you think **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed **

Whatever personal crisis the crew faced, it was checked at the door as soon as they took their post. The Enterprise faced down death too often for some petty quarrel between jaded lovers to risk the lives of the innocent by-standers. No flirting, no gossip, no betting and no fights were allowed when you were responsible for four hundred other men and women. This was one rule that James T. Kirk had absolutely no tolerance for violators. So, as Sulu slid into his place at the helm with Chekov beside him, both running diagnostic routine checks, neither mentioned what had happened in the turbo lift. The conversation would either fade into the background or plague the back of their mind for the rest of the day; it all depended on which side of the consol that particular mind laid.

The Enterprise was warping through space, exactly on course and on schedule for their next diplomatic mission. That allowed the pilot's mind to fret over and analyze every small detail and action of his best friend for the last several months. Chekov had gone from a young, naïve, sweet teenager to a promiscuous, hardened grown man. He had stopped socializing with his friends, or atleast the friends Sulu thought he had, and he had stopped spending any time with the Asian off the bridge. He watched the Russian from the corner of his eye. His fingers flying over the appropriate buttons, his mind running hundreds of calculations, but the energetic vibe that had once surrounded him like a halo was gone. He no longer whistled or sang in his native tongue while enjoying losing himself in calculus any more. He was hollow, he was desolate and it was killing Sulu as much as it was killing the blonde.

With one last stolen glance, Sulu turned back to his work, checking speed and new course readings from the labs. He would have to seek guidance on how best to approach Chekov; it would need to be done with extreme caution, because while he might not act like a fawn any more didn't mean he wouldn't bolt at the first sign of possible confrontation. Jim was out of the running, he had no emotional tact and Spock was even worse. Uhura would be an excellent choice, but she was translating the entire Code of Ethics of the Zuri natives and it would have to be done in time for Kirk to commit it to memory before beaming down. Scotty was a great guy, but if it was not a machine, he had no idea how to deal with it. So, that only left Dr. McCoy. Sulu shuddered, the man was a walking bag of contradictions, but he wanted to reach out to Chekov before he completely self-destructed, so if that meant asking the snarky physician for help, Sulu would do it.

Begrudgingly accepting the tedious task ahead of him, Sulu tried not to think about all the pretty faces that turned in Chekov's direction. He didn't want to notice how women - and a few men – seemed to take longer to report on the bridge when Chekov was on shift. Their eyes seemed to rake over his pale flesh but he never made one move to stop them or discourage their leers. In fact, he seemed to encourage them with a small wink, licking his lips or a tiny smile that never reached his eyes. To watch the precious face distort itself in such blatant invitation had gone from hurting Sulu to enraging him. By the time his Beta Shift replacement had arrived, Sulu as gripping the edge of his seat so hard his knuckles were white. Something had to be done. He nodded and quickly left, not bothering to wait on Chekov.

There was a slight tug of remorse at being so upset with Chekov, but it was eclipsed by his anger towards the teen's passé attitude. He stalked down the hallways not bothering to acknowledge any crewmembers he met. Most of them would be women that Chekov had so casually taken to bed or those who had wanted to trade places with them, and even if they weren't Sulu was in no mood to humor anyone. Grinding his teeth, Sulu told himself that he was only concerned because of the complications this was bringing into Chekov's young world; it had nothing to do with the warmth Pavel brought to his life.

Sulu found Bones McCoy in his office pouring over PADDs, which seemed to be the only thing he did, other than jab people with hypos, but Sulu tried to keep out of the doctor's company as much as possible. The door slid shut behind him, blocking out the sounds of the busy Med Bay. Slumping into the chair opposite the desk, he waited for Bones to find a stopping point. Hopefully his anger would dull as he waited.

Bones tapped for a few more minutes before returning the PADD to its cradle and making eye contact with the pilot. "Nice to see you, Sulu. Can I be of some assistance?" He folded his arms over his chest looking every bit the concerned family physician.

Unfortunately, the Lieutenant's anger had not ebbed. "I need to talk to you about a personal matter." Even to his ears, his voice was clipped.

Taking a deep breath, Bones reached into his desk drawer and pulled out his special stash of whiskey. "This sounds like something that is best accompanied by a drink. You want some?" He poured himself two fingers. Sulu nodded and was gifted some of the amber liquid. He took a sip and sighed. "Alright, I'm ready, hit me." He turned his whole attention to the other man.

Letting the alcohol burn all the way down his throat, Sulu sat quiet for a moment contemplating his response. "I want to talk about Pavel Chekov." Bones nodded for him to continue. "He has developed a rather dangerous habit. I was seeking advice on how best to approach him." He swallowed the rest of the whiskey, searching for courage.

Bones nodded. "You are concerned for him?" He asked genuinely trying to feel out the younger man's intentions.

Smirking, Sulu sighed. "That is one way to put it." He shifted in his seat, uncomfortable with the weight on his heart. "Chekov has been taking several different women to bed each week." Bones raised both eyebrows, but Sulu rushed to continue. "He uses them. In the mornings he breaks if off with them and that usually leads to a fight in the hallway – in front of half the crew." He sat the empty glass on the desk. "I'm not one to interfere with a guy's love life, but Bones this is different. It's like this is tearing him up – like he is addicted and can't stop for whatever reason." He dropped his head into his hands. "I just want to help him. I want Pasha back." His heartbroken whisper barely audible.

Bones made no move to reach out to the younger man; it was evident that he was dealing with his own inner turmoil. He had time to wait until Sulu could once more face him, then he would reach a diagnosis, but for a few moments he allowed the man his grief. They had all seen how much Pavel Chekov had changed, but what very few others had noticed was how it had changed Hikaru Sulu. It was several moments before Sulu lifted his head expecting an answer that Bones readily supplied. "The only way you can help Chekov is by being there for him." His voice was no longer gruff, but gentle. "He will want to fight, he will buck worse than a bull, but you have to show him unconditional support and acceptance. You are his best friend and he needs you, you are the only one he is going to allow to get close. Whatever has driven Chekov off the edge didn't happen over night." Each word weighed, each meaning exact. This was a delicate task.

His heart was heavy as he stared back into Bones' hazel eyes. While he was not relieved of the stress he had brought into the office, he was resigned to accept the challenge. Chekov needed him, and he needed Chekov. With a small smile, he left the good doctor to his nightly routine; he had a blonde to stop making a fool of himself in TenForward.

**A/N: Thanks for reading**

**This is so different from my usually 'sunny' fics.**

**Reviews/comments make my day**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

**Thank you Shameless, Meg, Andbreathme, Bookie and T'Prime for reviewing! **

**I noticed I had this fic marked as 'M', I don't believe it qualifies, so I'm taking it down to 'T' and if need be I can always bump it back up.**

**Huge Thank You to my Beta and adopted baby-sis MegKevin for helping me with this chapter!**

TenForward was full of the usual crowd, those lonely souls who were homesick and needed to drown their sorrows before heading to their empty beds. Sulu could sympathize; being this far away from anything remotely recognizable was hard on humans and most other species. Some of the crew were better equipped to handle the stress, like Uhura and Jim, but some needed the solace found only in large crowds, of people who shared their pain. TenFoward was the only spot on board that allowed them the company they craved without having to put forth effort or polish their social skills. Sulu and Chekov had spent many an evening at a back corner table, talking, playing poker, and drinking. They were always surrounded by friends, laughter and fun. It was their daily stress relief. The loss of those companionable evenings stung the dark haired man worse than a slap to the face. This rift should not have been allowed to grow this wide.

Scanning the room, Sulu found the younger man sitting alone at the bar, eyes only for his drink. No laughter spilled from his lips, no smile radiated from his eyes. Under his best friend's horrified watch, Chekov had become sullen and removed. This was deeper than throwing himself at any available women and his apparent commitment issues. It was as if his very soul had been crushed. Whatever miracle Sulu had to pull, he was going to help his best friend heal from the demon that had fractured his spirit. Not really taking stock of anyone else in the room, Sulu made his way towards the blonde, taking the thankfully empty seat next to him.

Chekov did not look up or acknowledge his arrival. "I thought I'd come to see what you were doing, what the draw was to this place." He tried to laugh, but the forced sound died in his throat when the younger man finally turned to face him.

Lines were deeply etched in his young face, his mouth turned down in a frown. "It has wodka." That was the only response he offered.

Several moments lingered as Sulu tried to swallow past the lump that had formed in his throat. Never before had Chekov's gaze been so empty, his face so emotionless. While he was still without a plan, Sulu knew he had to get his friend out of this place and take him to somewhere more private to comfort the teen. He needed to remind Chekov of their everlasting friendship, how much he meant to the older man. Placing a gentle hand under Chekov's arm, Sulu tugged him towards the exit. "Why don't you and I hang out for a while, man? We haven't done that in forever." He tried to sound relaxed and care free, like he used to sound all the time when they spoke.

Jerking his arm away, Chekov cut his eyes up at the older man. "I don't vant to." His voice was gruff from the vodka.

Taking a deep breath, Sulu calmed himself. It would do no good if he lost his temper with his friend, but his nerves were frayed. "Please?" It was not a whine, but it was just barely above one. He was desperate, they needed to get out of this environment, because once they were alone, Sulu was sure Chekov would talk with him and explain this whole rebel behavior, what had happened to steal the sunshine that once fell ceaselessly from his bright features.

For a brief moment, the old Pavel flashed in those hazel eyes as he nodded and rose to follow Sulu, but it was gone as soon as it came, replaced by the stiff shoulders and slow saunter. They walked side by side towards the door, Chekov's body stiffening as they made their way through the crowd. Women winked and laughed as he passed and from the lights on his PADD, some were even sending him messages. It turned Sulu's stomach to watch. They treated him like a piece of meat, going to the highest bidder. How had his young friend been reduced to this? How had he let himself? What was wrong with these women that made them think they could treat someone like this? Did they not know what they were doing? Could they not see his innocence had been stolen somehow by someone? Knowing that Sulu had not been able to protect his best friend cleaved his battered heart in two. Whatever had happened, whoever had done it, Sulu would repair the damage.

Once in the hallway, Sulu took a deep breath, stopping in his tracks trying to regain his composure. He twisted his head from side to side, stretching and popping the tendons and ligaments. "We really need to talk about this, Pav. You're not yourself." He let out a deep sigh, turning to look at his best friend.

Sulu had been prepared for an argument, even anger, but the look in Pavel's eye was something even worse. It was total abandonment and near-hatred. "I am just fine." His whisper laced with threat. "You are not my keeper. You don't know anything about me. Just leave me alone. I don't need you, I hawe not needed you for quite some time now. You just go along; Pawel Chekov does not need any one, especially not you." He sneered into Sulu's face.

Something inside the Pilot snapped. He was tired of the bullshit and the constant turnabout. Now Chekov dared to look at him as if he were the one who had drove him to this insanity. What he would have given for this man to have a perfect, pain-free life. He had no right to doubt his true and honest intentions. He had never hurt his friend, knowingly or willingly, and never would. Seeing red, Sulu drove Chekov into the far wall, his hands grasping the younger man's collar. "You tell me what in the hell is going on, right now! I'm tired of this!" He growled his threat into the small space left between their faces.

Saying nothing, the Navigator dug his fingers into Sulu's arms and twisted his torso and pushed so that he had the taller man pressed up against the wall, slamming him back so forcefully it rattled his teeth. "I don't hawe to explain anything to you!" His voice was low, no hint of friendship in his defiant tone.

A sudden fire lit the Asian's dark eyes; this would be one fight he would win – no matter the cost, because Pavel Chekov was wrong. He _did_ have to explain and of all the people on this ship, Sulu was the one who would understand the most. Latching on to Chekov's arm again, Sulu forced him down the hall. For the most part, Chekov followed without argument; most of the fight had drained out of him, but his steps were stiff. This was a war of the wills, but Sulu had the advantage: he'd been an angsty teenager before and knew how they operated. Blindly, Sulu tore down the hall, finally stopping at the gym.

He led them into the middle of the gym on the padded wrestling mats. Letting go of Chekov, he turned to face him. Jaw squared, he pulled his gold tunic over his head tossing it to the side. "If you want a fight, you've got one. Come on, Pav, think you can handle a tussle with a man? Or do you need to use some little female?" He crouched in his blacks, waiting to attack. His broken heart was twisting his words, hoping to cause as much damage to the other man.

Sneering, Chekov quickly disposed of his tunic, eyes only leaving the pilot's when blocked by the fabric. "You vill vish you had left me to my wodka." He gave a short, humorless laugh, his body posed for the fight.

Not waiting for his opponent to attack, Sulu lunged. He tackled the smaller man to the ground, pinning him, his hands gripping his wrists. Chekov allowed himself to be pinned long enough for Sulu to mentally congratulate himself, before he brought up his knees for leverage and reversed their positions. Grunting he pinned the pilot, his fingers grinding into his pulse points on his wrist. Sulu squirmed under his hold, trying to release the pressure, finally able to push Chekov on the floor. He stood up shoving the long black hair from his eyes. "Is that the best you've got?" He panted.

Jumping to his feet, Chekov charged. "I'll show you ze best I'we got!" His right hook was blocked but his left jab connected with the other man's chin. Slightly rattled from the punch, Sulu shook his head and hit Chekov with a one-two combo. His right fist collided with his opponent's rib cage and his left rammed his right orbital socket. Chekov countered with a punch to Sulu's breast bone and an upper cut.

They fought for several minutes before a crowd formed, each punch sent blood spattering the white mats, each man dripping with sweat. Equally matched, punch for punch and kick for kick, pounding their frustrations out on their best friend. Not one inch of their skin was left unmarked, ugly bruises trailed their arms, legs and faces. Knuckles were bloody, with blood from their own body and their rivals. Frustration, anger and torment permeated the air as their feral growls echoed on the high walls. Adrenaline flooded their systems, numbing the pain and blocking out any rational thought. So much pain had been kept under tight wraps and now it was breaking loose, lashing out at the one who had caused its misery.

Slowly, their motions came to a halt, their breath ragged and their hearts pounding. Staggering on their feet, wore out from the physical exertion and the mental release in such a few short minutes, they held each other's gaze – no longer white hot in agony, but relieved. While they had not said a word, somehow just beating the shit out of each other had helped. Sitting down back to back, they leaned against each other for support. The other men were still urging them to continue fighting, until another louder voice rose above the crowd. "Haven't you people got any decency? Leave these two alone." Two pairs of swollen eyes looked up at Bones.

Shaking his head, Bones squatted down beside the pair. "I didn't think you boys were the violent type." He offered a hand to each of the men and assisted them to stand. "Let's get you two cleaned up. As punishment, you are both walking to Med Bay without anyone but each other for assistance." He turned on his heel and strode away from the shaky men.

Chekov wrapped Sulu's arm around his shoulder and his arm around Sulu's waist. "I vill help you, Hikaru." His voice was tender, his eyes shining again like they once had before.

Sulu nodded, smiling faintly, allowing the younger man to half-drag him down the hallway behind the griping doctor. If it took fighting like dogs every night for the rest of their mission or even their lives to help Chekov relax and be himself, then Sulu could handle it. He just hoped that Bones wouldn't yell too much - his ears were still ringing. And still they would have a heart-to-heart conversation and Sulu would get to the bottom of Chekov's behavior. The battle may be over, but the war still raged on.

**A/N: Thanks for reading.**

**I've never written a fight between Pavel and Hikaru before. It was quite liberating **

**Please review/comment and tell me what you think. Ready for some tender lovin' in the next chapter?**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: See Chapter 1**

Not so long ago it would have been unimaginable for Pavel Chekov to have ever been injured by his best friend or to have been treated without the older man hovering near by, constantly on vigil. As the young navigator lay on the bio-bed with Nurse Chapel attending to his wounds that were inflicted by the very man who had sworn his friendship, Sulu was overwhelmed with remorse as he realized that this was the first time in months he had not accompanied the blonde to Med Bay. He was horrified as he watched the many wounds his own two hands had inflected on his perfectly pale flesh knit together with the help of the dermal regenerator.

Perhaps change had taken hold of Sulu as well as Chekov. Nurse Vaughn was repairing the damage the feisty Russian had managed to cause, while Sulu kept his eyes trained on the other man. He felt no pain as the bones were healed and the blood flow stemmed. Sorrow and guilt cut through his chest like an epee, and its jagged claws hurt him worse than any physical wound. He had not meant for his temper to get the better of his conscious or for his fists to ever strike his best friend. Tears filled the pilot's eyes as he watched Chekov's face twist in pain. He had always been the one to protect Pasha, now he was just as guilty as those heartless women – only he had done even worse. He had lashed out in anger against the teen.

Bones was standing in-between the two beds, watching and occasionally commenting to his nurses about various medical devices but not bothering to converse with Chekov or Sulu. Neither of the nurses spoke to their patients or asked them what had caused their argument, they only exchanged glances with each other and a few nods to the CMO. Sulu lay stiff on the bed, ready to jump up as soon as he was healed and convince Chekov to continue their conversation, albeit without the physical violence or screaming. Chekov was lost to his own thoughts; his body slightly more relaxed than it had been earlier. The air had grown heavy with anticipation of what would happen next, if the small truce was hearty enough to last.

With heavy hearts, both men raised from their bio-beds, their bloody and torn clothing the only evidence of their fight. Simply nodding, Bones and the nurses moved aside allowing the men to leave. Bones and Sulu locked eyes long enough for the CMO to convey his displeasure with having to stitch two Command Officers, but his lips stayed pressed in a thin line. Shoulders dropped and heads bowed, the two men left the Med Bay like two scolded puppies.

More than anything, Sulu hated the helpless feeling that threatened to overwhelm him when he realized that they were right back to where they had started before they had swapped licks. Chekov remained by his side as they entered the turbo lift. He ordered it to their deck, the only sound other than their breathing in the tiny square. Sulu had to think of something to say to encourage the blonde to talk things over with him. There had to be a way to repair the rift between the best friends. Heart in his hands, Sulu took a hesitant step forward into the hallway.

Facing down a horde of Romulans was easier to do than this. "You want to come over and hang out for a while?" He was surprised to hear how calm his voice sounded – just as it was when everything had still been 'normal'.

Chekov nodded without an ounce of hesitancy. "Zat vould be a good idea." He sounded almost chipper.

The room was dark, but Sulu quickly ordered on the lights leading the way inside. "I haven't had company in a while." He chuckled as he began moving his plant collection aside so Chekov would have room to walk.

It was as if walking into the older man's personal space had melted away every care Chekov had. His face no longer creased with worry or doubt, his shoulders relaxed and his gait light. "I do not mind ze plants." He shot a small smile as he sat down on the couch, taking a deep breath of the fragrant air.

And just like that, everything was forgiven. The cuts, punches and bruises didn't matter, all that mattered was the small blonde in front of him. He sank down on the couch beside the younger man, their shoulders slightly touching. "I know you don't want to talk about what's going on, Pav, but I think it would be a good idea to tell someone. I will listen and I won't judge, you know that." Afraid that Chekov would bolt before he could breach the subject, Sulu jumped straight to the heart of the matter.

Running his hands though his hair, the Russian sighed. "It's not zat easy." Chekov brought his large, dismal eyes to face his best friend.

Sighing, Sulu wrapped his arm around the teen and pulled him close for a one-armed hug. "Just tell me and I'll help with whatever it is, I promise." He had missed having his friend so close, talking with him, keeping him safe. He had failed once at being the knight in shining armor, he was not going to do it again. He loved this man too much to watch him continue killing himself bit by bit.

Relaxing slightly against the Asian's frame, Chekov bit his lip. "It iz stupid, it iz nothing." He tried to laugh, but his smile didn't reach his eyes.

Fighting his growing impatience, Sulu took a deep breath. "I'm not going to argue if it's stupid or not, but it's eating at you. I've never seen you like this. Pav, you aren't yourself any more. Please let me help." He was sincere in his request, he would do anything the younger man asked of him.

Just as Sulu had predicted, his defenses dropped and Chekov began contemplating explaining his plight. Alone with Sulu in a comfortable environment, his walls crumbled. "No matter hov stupid it is, no lawfing." His face was serious, so Sulu had no choice but to nod. "I think zat I am homesick. Zat is one of the problems." His voice peppered with longing for things that he would not see again for several more years, yet there was still an icy edge to his response.

Neither man moved for several minutes. Sulu's memory of the last few months clicked over and over in his mind, things finally falling into place. Chekov was young and this was his first long mission. It all made since. He might have the highest IQ of anyone Sulu had ever known, but he was still a child at heart. This was the final piece of his adulthood forming. He had taken several lovers, he had attempted to accelerate his development and to harden his heart, and faced down the terrors of the known universe, but this was the last of his innocence falling away – his final step in asserting himself. Relief swamped through Sulu as he chuckled. "Is that all?" He smiled down at the younger man.

Twisting his face in anger, Chekov tried to pull away but Sulu clutched his arms. "Is zat all? I am in agony daily! I miss my family! I miss you!" His anger returning, he blushed as he realized what he had blurted out. Even though he had said too much, it was as if something else was on the tip of his tongue, but he clamped his mouth shut and curled his fists, ready to fight again.

Thinking quickly before things spiraled out of control, Sulu's laughter died. "Ok, ok, Pav, I didn't mean to sound uncaring. I miss you, too. Being on this ship is just not the same without getting to loaf around with you. I just was afraid that it was something worse. Like someone was hurting you or something like that, maybe PTSD or something." He tried to smile.

Most of the fight drained out of Chekov. "Zere is nozing vorse zan being so far away from home and loosing your best friend, vho still sits beside you daily." Heart wrenching sadness filled his hazel eyes, heartbreak evident in those hazel pools.

Completely understanding Chekov's point, Sulu relented. "You're right, as always. I didn't mean to disappear. I guess we were both pulling away and not realizing it." He relaxed back into the couch with the blonde doing the same. "But homesick or not, you can't keep on ruining yourself. Those women are not going to replace Russia." He gently rammed his shoulders into Chekov's trying to keep the mood light. "And those women sure in hell can't replace me." His arms aching to hold the Russian until the pain, both of their pain was a distant memory. Love might one day have a place in their relationship, but he was sure it wouldn't find its niche today.

The proud man his best friend had become nodded his head silently, tears filling his eyes but refusing to fall. "I know zat zere is no replacement for either. I just vanted to dull ze pain, but it vas only hurting zem as much as I am hurting. It vas selfish of me, but I didn't want to stop. I began to _vant_ zem to hurt like me. I used zem to get through the long off-hours." Chekov clutched hands in his lap.

Sulu was surprised by the venom in the younger man's voice. "Pavel, that is not good for anybody." His companion nodded, ashamed. "How about you and I work out more often and play video games like we used to? You keep your 'Captain Kirk' persona under wraps and we try to figure this out together? I'll help you, man. I'm not going any where, again. I'm going to be right here for you any time you need me. All you have to do is come find me, Pasha." He was gentle, desperately trying to recover his friend.

Calm fell over Chekov's tender face. "I said zat I didn't need anyone or ewen you, but I vas vrong, Hikaru. Zank you for staying by my side." A true smile curled on his pale lips.

That one smile melted Sulu, his own smile stretching across his face in answer automatically. He would have fought the hounds of hell to take the burden from Pasha's shoulders, a few punches and a little blood was a small price to pay.

**A/N: Thanks for reading**

**This chapter was first written with enough fluff to choke a small animal, but I think I've re-worded it so it's not so bad.**

**I don't know if I want to end it here. I like to get them together, but I'm not sure.**

**Reviews/comments would be helpful in seeing what I need to do **


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: See Chapter 1**

**Thank you so much for MegKevin for beta-ing this from me! Thanks for everyone who has review'd, fav'd or alert'd. **

It had been four days since the truce between the two best of friends and the Alpha helmsmen. During those four days some of the harsh lines that had conquered Chekov's face had been erased. He laughed more freely and had not had any alcohol, and more importantly, he had not been chasing after any women. Life was returning to normal for the young Navigator. He and Sulu were eating their meals together again, watching movies, playing video games and working out after every shift. They talked about anything and everything, simply enjoying each other's company. Chekov just soaked up the attention from the dark haired pilot. Being beside his best friend, watching those smiles light up his dark eyes slowly began to repair the stress fractures inflicted upon his young heart.

Of course, as with the laws of Physics, every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Now sitting in his dark quarters, Chekov hung his head in his hands. He was not throwing himself at women, he was not attempting to block out his emotions, but in turn he was forced to face them, to deal with each one individually now that he had plenty of time in the comfort of his own quarters. His heart belonged to Hikaru Sulu. Of course that left him with the insurmountable task of continuing on as if nothing had changed and tucking away his love in the furthest corners of his mind. It was driving him to distraction, every smile, every laugh, every adorable thing that man did. Without his promiscuous night life, he was left with only his unrequited love to keep him company and it was ripping him apart from the inside out.

The long-legged blonde began to pace his room. It was tempting to return to TenForward, pick up a date, go back to her place and leave all the work and distraction to her. Let her lithe body replace the athletic build of the Asian's if only for a few brief hours. Allow her form in the darkness to morph in his mind's eye to the love of his life. He had done it for months, reducing himself for stolen moments with someone who could not compare to Hikaru. A handful of blissful seconds with another person's name on his tongue, surrendering to a fantasy he would never know. But that was taking the easy way out, the coward's retreat.

Sulu and Chekov's room were connected via a shared bathroom. Countless times before, Chekov had raced across the tiled floor into Sulu's room with some exciting or bored comment flying off his tongue. Now, that had become taboo, for what Chekov had to say might ruin the fragile relationship they had managed to salvage. It was risky, like Russian roulette, but with only one empty chamber. Chekov swallowed, rubbing his sweaty palms against his pants leg, his eyes focused on the release to open his bathroom door. It would take fifteen steps and three words and all this agony would end one way or another. Either Sulu would agree and return his sentiment or he would throw him out of the room and never speak to him again. With a deep breath, he cleared his mind and unlocked his door, rushing forward. This was one gamble the teen was willing to ride the odds.

Sulu's door was not locked, parting easily to allow the blonde entrance. Had it been this easy all those months he had been in such turmoil? For the sake of his sanity, Chekov refused to entertain that thought. He cleared the doorway, the door closing silently behind him. Before him was one of the most gorgeous sights the Russian had ever seen. Sulu was stretched on his sofa wearing only his regulation shorts. His toned body was relaxed, but strength and grace flowed from his radiant skin. Chekov held his breath, taking in the full sight before him, his mouth slightly agape in awe at the perfection displayed for his hungry eyes.

Sulu, who had immediately brought his dark eyes to Chekov's hazel, was scrutinizing his face, trying to discern what had made him rush through the door he hadn't bothered to use in months. "Are you okay, Pav?" In one languid movement, Sulu was off the couch and gracefully striding towards the younger man. His muscles flexing and rippling across his chest and abdomen, his wet hair hanging loosely, framing his face, his eyes locked only on the Navigator.

Spellbound, Chekov could only nod. Laughing, Sulu wrapped his arm around his shoulders and walked him towards the couch. "What's up?" His question was casual, but the barest hint of worry and attachment in his tone made Chekov's heart clinch. He held his friendship with Hikaru Sulu in the highest regard, it would tear him to pieces if he lost that.

Dropping down onto the couch that smelled of sandalwood and regulation shampoo, Sulu's mixture, Chekov blushed. "I hawe somezing I vant to tell you." He looked everywhere but at the older man, twisting his hands in his lap. His courage was quickly evaporating.

Sitting down beside his best friend, Sulu placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Pav, man, you can tell me anything." His voice was honest, his touch gentle.

No matter what Chekov was going to tell him, Sulu would stand by his side. At least that was the hope as Chekov blurted out his response. "I lowe you." Only it sounded like 'Iwuwvu.'

Leaning closer with a confused look, Sulu lifted an eyebrow. "What?" He moved to sit flush against the blonde. "Dude, you can tell me anything, I promise, but you are going to have to be clear." He nodded encouragingly, smirking slightly.

Taking a deep breath with his heart hammering in his ears, Chekov attempted to repeat himself. Above all, Sulu deserved to know the truth. There were no secrets between these two, Chekov could not continue to hide this from Sulu. "I lowe you." This time it was clear, whispered into the air like a prayer.

To Sulu's credit, he didn't blanch or run away. "You love me? Dude, I love you too." He grinned wrapping his arm around his shoulders again.

Chekov shook his head, his face fell, Sulu didn't understand the depth of what he was confessing. "No, Hikaru, I lowe, lowe you. All zose women vere meant to replace you. But it didn't vork." He watched Sulu's face, ready to bolt if any signs of repulsion or anger shadowed his handsome face.

None of that came, only sympathy and understanding. "I know, Chekov. I realized that shortly after we started hanging out again. And I love, love you too." He pulled the shorter man into his embrace, holding him securely against him.

Words were not necessary between two men who understood each other as well as they understood themselves. The final pieces of their souls fell into place as they sat quietly wrapped in each other's arms, Chekov's head resting against Sulu's chest letting his strong heartbeat calm him. Lonely hours that had invaded their nights, feeding their self-doubt and worry had been vanished forevermore.

**A/N: Thanks for reading!**

**I believe this will be the end of this journey. I might continue later in another fic, one day.**

**Please let me know what you think **


End file.
